Happiness In the Time Of 47
Five principles that will bring back your hope and energy.
A few weeks ago, the embodiment of Old Happy took office, and this time, empowered by a horde of cowardly individuals who are pretending to be leaders, he was prepared to immediately unleash even more pain upon the world.
His actions were swift, and despite one courageous woman’s best efforts, utterly merciless: ordering mass deportations in cities around the country, ending all DEIB programs across the government, cutting funding for science and ending lifesaving healthcare treatment programs, and declaring that nonbinary and transgender people do not exist. The opposition party do not seem interested in doing anything to protect the well-being of the public, and are, in fact, complaining that people are bothering them too much.
In this world, the idea of finding happiness might feel impossible, and maybe even unethical. Who are we to pursue happiness in a world where so many are suffering?
Yet in this newsletter, I want to explain why this is the exact wrong way to go about the next four years. You should pursue happiness; in fact, you have a moral duty to pursue happiness.
The 5 Principles for Happiness in 2025-2029
1. I will break free of my Old Happy conditioning.
The forces of capitalism, individualism, and domination have shaped the way you think about and pursue happiness. They have made you believe that happiness comes from beating others in life’s competition, from perfecting yourself and optimizing your productivity, and from acquiring as much as you can for yourself. This is Old Happy, and for your entire life, you have been awash in its messages, rewarded for upholding it, and encouraged to perpetuate it.
Old Happy is what has brought us to this moment. We must leave it behind in order to move into the next one.
I believe, with all my heart and soul, that there is no possibility of a better world unless we break free of these beliefs: we will always be sucked inexorably back into behaviors that don’t just harm others, but end up harming us, too. As Albert Einstein said, “A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels.”
(To get started, you can read this free excerpt from my book that delves deeper into Old Happy and how to spot it in your own life.)
2. I will work towards happiness for everyone.
The president, and Old Happy, believe that only some people deserve to be happy, and are hard at work on creating conditions to reflect that.
Our greatest resistance lies in communicating our steadfast belief that in fact, everyone deserve to experience well-being.
(That includes them. And as I explain in this video, the cycle of disconnection ensure that that will be impossible unless they start making different choices.)
The New Happy philosophy, which is based upon ten years of scientific research, posits that the only way to find true happiness is through helping other people. As you work towards the well-being of others, you simultaneously create it for yourself.
By setting this as your goal, you ensure that you are bound together in the fate of not just all other humans, but all other life in this world. We are all in this together. Either we decide to create a world where everyone can be happy, or we will continue living in this one, where no one can be truly happy.
3. I will refuse to go it alone.
You cannot work towards happiness for everyone by yourself.
Old Happy has made you believe that, in my friend Tyler’s words, “If you can’t be the ‘chosen one’ who saves the world singlehandedly, then why bother trying?”
We are all the chosen ones, because we are all alive, awake to the pain in the world, and possessed of a desire to alleviate it. But the only way to realize that truth is to gather together in community and realize that each of us have our own unique part to play in achieving this goal, and that part can only be fulfilled through honoring our deep need for each other.
You’re going to need help, lots of it. You’re going to need encouragement. You’re going to need kindness. You’re going to need joy. You’re going to need sustenance that doesn’t have to be exhaustedly unearthed from your own heart or brain or hands. You’re going to need care. And the more that you accept this reliance upon others, the more you’ll start to see how deeply and inextricably connected we all are—and how letting others help you is what will sustain you.
Find a community. Or make one. It can be as simple as starting a group text thread with your friends. It can be as simple as knocking on your neighbors’ doors and making sure you all have each other’s contact information. It can be as simple as signing up for a New Happy book club and joining our free community.
4. I will find my gifts and share them.
Part of Old Happy’s conditioning involved teaching you that you are unworthy and unimportant. That’s why we strive so hard to pursue the goals that we think will fill us up—money, fame, power.
But if you recognize that you have extraordinary gifts within you—talents that are needed, wisdom that can guide, humanity that can uplift—you will immediately realize that you are enough, exactly as you are, and that you are important, because no one has the gifts that you do.
Spend ten minutes today making a Gift List—all the things you can do, that you know, and that you embody. Some questions to ask yourself:
What would you spend your time doing if you had no responsibilities?
What passions have you always wanted to explore?
What compliments do you often get?
What life lessons have you learned?
What skills do you enjoy using?
If you’re stuck, call a friend and point out each other’s gifts to each other.
Resist the urge to judge anything on your list; that’s Old Happy in your head. No gift is more important than another; all are needed to build a new world.
Put your list up somewhere you can see it every day. Look at it and say to yourself, “I am enough, and I have so much to share with the world.”
5. I will do small things.
Believing you are powerless makes you so.
Let me say that again: believing you are powerless makes you so.
(I recognize that they are doing everything they can to make us feel this way, and that does not mean we are required to consent to it. When I find myself feeling sucked into their emotional force field, I like to put my hand up in front of me and say, “I refuse that.” When that doesn’t work, lean on others to get the support you need.)
Feeling powerless is one of the most destabilizing emotions for a human being because it triggers a series of behaviors that exacerbate it: we think we are powerless, so we do nothing, and then doing nothing makes us feel more powerless, so we do nothing, and on and on it goes until we learn how to break this cycle.
The only way to break this cycle is to take one small action.
To help your neighbor with their groceries.
To research a class you’ve always been interested in.
To call your representatives.
To divest from harmful corporations.
To show up for a peaceful protest.
To read a book or watch a movie that teaches you something.
To tell someone, “I’m struggling and I need help.”
To look at someone and say, “I would love to help you.”
Every single person who has ever made a meaningful difference in the world understands that small actions are the only ones that matter. They are not only what build to lasting changes, but they are also what keep us going, day in and day out, as we work towards them.
Today, my small action is writing this newsletter. I could sit here and say, “This is not enough.” Or I could say, “This is enough for today, and tomorrow, I will show up again tomorrow.”
I know for a fact which one is going to give me the energy to keep going.
There’s a quote in the book Love in the Time of Cholera (which inspired today’s newsletter title) that I have always loved:
“… Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but that life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.”
Your small actions—your choice to share your gifts in whatever way you can, each and every day—are what help you to birth yourself, to become who you are and who you know you can be. And as you birth yourself, you are also birthing a new world, the one we know is possible: a place where everyone can be happy.
Glad to see you on this platform, Stephanie!💕
Thank you for this, Stephanie! 💓 How did you know I needed help with Hope today 😓